\n
John Podesta, who runs President-elect Barack Obama's White House
\ntransition team, is feeling the heat from the Extraterrestrial
\nPhenomenon Political Action Committee. They want him to lean on the
\nincoming president to come clean on what the government knows about
\nalien visitation.<\/p>\n
Mr. Podesta, who served in the Clinton administration, is one of the
\nhighest-ranking backers of the Coalition for Freedom of Information,
\nanother group that believes legitimate investigation of unexplained
\naerial phenomena has to come out of the shadows.<\/p>\n
"It is time for the government to declassify records that are more
\nthan 25 years old and to provide scientists with data that will assist
\nin determining the real nature of this phenomenon," Mr. Podesta said at
\na 2002 news conference announcing the CFI's intent to gain access to
\nsecret government records about UFOs.<\/p>\n
Ironically, the Bush administration that has always had a penchant
\nfor entertaining the theories of assorted neoconservative moonbats
\nwasn't interested. They may receive an equally chilly reception from
\nthe new president judging by his answer during a Democratic debate
\nwhether he believed extraterrestrial life existed:<\/p>\n
"You know, I don't know, and I don't presume to know," Mr. Obama
\nsaid. "What I know is there is life here on Earth — and — we're not
\nattending to life here on Earth. We're not taking care of kids who are
\nalive and, unfortunately, are not getting health care. We're not taking
\ncare of senior citizens who are alive and are seeing their heating
\nprices go up. So as president, those are the people I will be attending
\nto first."<\/p>\n
It wasn't the most imaginative answer in the world, but it was a
\nclear statement of Mr. Obama's priorities. He isn't likely to have the
\nperspective of Fox Mulder from "The X-Files" represented on his
\nincoming team of rivals, unless we count former New Mexico Gov. Bill
\nRichardson, the man Mr. Obama has tapped to head the Department of
\nCommerce<\/p>\n
Mr. Richardson wrote a forward to a book on the Roswell Incident, an
\nalleged UFO crash in New Mexico in 1947, and has publicly stated his
\nbelief that the Pentagon is engaged in a cover-up. All of this could be
\nchalked up to be the posturing of a governor whose state benefits
\nenormously from UFO-related tourism.<\/p>\n
Still, I would love to be a fly on the wall when John Podesta tries
\nto interest Barack Obama in ending the information embargo "regarding
\nan extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race."<\/p>\n
\u2022<\/center><\/p>\nObama<\/strong>: Listen, John, when I agreed to open the "X"
\nfiles, I thought we were talking about unlocking everything the
\ngovernment knows about the murder of Malcolm X at the Audubon Ballroom
\nin New York in 1965. What's with this "aliens among us" flying saucer
\n[expletive deleted]?<\/p>\nPodesta<\/strong>: Mr. President-elect, I know UFOs aren't your top priority, but …<\/p>\nObama<\/strong>: John, didn't I recently diss Nancy Reagan
\nfor bringing astrologers into the White House? How is it going to look
\nif I turn around and welcome the wrong kind of aliens to 1600
\nPennsylvania Ave.? Besides, I hear that the extraterrestrials endorsed
\nSen. John McCain in the election. They're dead to me now.<\/p>\nPodesta:<\/strong> They may be dead to you, sir, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.<\/p>\nObama:<\/strong> Earth to John, Earth to John. No offense,
\nbut maybe I should've brought Dennis Kucinich on as my transition
\nleader. At least he has firsthand experience with UFOs.<\/p>\nPodesta:<\/strong> Excuse me, sir, but …<\/p>\nObama:<\/strong> Look, John. A black man with funny ears, a
\nMuslim name and an outspoken wife is about to be sworn in as the 44th
\npresident of the United States. I survived the toughest Democratic
\nprimary in our party's history and I beat a genuine Vietnam War hero in
\nthe battle for this nation's hearts and minds. I am not going to
\ntarnish my achievement with this nutball stuff.<\/p>\n(Mr. Podesta gathers his papers and exits Mr. Obama's Chicago
\noffice. He nods as he passes the president-elect's personal barber in
\nthe hallway. Mr. Obama is already sitting in his chair when the barber
\nenters. Holding the mirror and examining his features, the
\npresident-elect smiles mischievously.)<\/em><\/p>\nBarber:<\/strong> How's it going, Mr. President-elect?<\/p>\nObama:<\/strong> No reason for you to stand on ceremony like the humans, Sub-Commander Z. We can speak freely.<\/p>\nThe infiltration and occupation of the Earth's various governments
\nis nearly complete. Soon, we can safely summon the mother ship to dock
\nin Earth's orbit without fear. We'll control all of the world's nuclear
\ncodes. Then we can truly begin enlightening these primitives about
\ntheir place in the galaxy.<\/p>\n
Barber:<\/strong> Excellent, Lord Ashtar. It's a good thing these humans don't know how "elitist" you truly are.<\/p>\n
![](\"http:\/\/www.post-gazette.com\/images4\/norman-tony_50x50.jpg\")
<\/p>\n